A panda comes to the Panda Base

 

Maria's picture
Thu, 07/28/2011 - 22:32 -- Maria

Hello, everybody, my name is Panda. A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring, eats shoots and leaves.

Panda sounds like “Pangde” in Chinese which means “fat”. Actually I was the youngest one in my class, unfortunately the fattest one. Classmates laugh at my shape. I know there is pride in them, but prejudice in me. I think of losing weight many times especially in winter when I get fatter easily. Some weight loss companies always arrange a beautiful girl with sign round her neck “If you can catch me, you can have me." I am thinking of catching my girlfriend in that race, later I thought I might not take the risk. What if I caught a turtle by chance? I can not lose face by becoming a black sheep of my family. That’s why I choose skiing exercise. Look, how enjoyable I am!

In order to become an eye-catching student, I tried many means to demonstrate my versatility. I climb the tree and pretend to cry there. I hang myself between the branches.

I even tried my unique skill, make my face to the sky. 

Happiness lies not in the mere possession of praise; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.

One day I heard that I was the first panda that scientists find after more than 8-million-year search and they will take me to the Panda Base which is a paradise they build for me. My responsibility to breed new babies come soon, but the big problem is I’m so difficult to find a girlfriend. When I was 4, scientists hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 4.5 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with enthusiasm for life. I dated a passionate girl one day, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 5 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 6, I found an exciting girl. She was great funny initially and very energetic, a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground. She cuts apples for me, strokes me, tell stories to me when I feel sleepy. She sometimes even makes poems.

 I have a man who's handsome, smart and strong 

One who loves to listen songs

Massages my back and begs to do more.

I want this man to love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

I married her imediately. 

My wife gets pregnant and gives birth to my lovely daughter after 10 months. I am worried every day why my baby stays so long in her mothers’ womb. Maybe an athlete who has absorbed enough nutrition, so that she can join the 2012’ Olympic Game. I teach her every skill I was bestowed to make her athletic dream come true.

I am dreaming to have a son soon. Come to my Panda Base and see us if you pass by. Goodbye

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