Traditional Chinese Marriage - Han Chinese Marriage Customs
Overview of Traditional Chinese Marriage
For China's Han majority, marriage is a monogamous institution - the days of multiple wives and concubines in the Imperial court have passed, and now, taking more than one spouse is a criminal offense, though having an extra-marital lover is more common today than many would like to admit.
Chinese marriage has always been a monogamous institution, despite the misconception (as stated above) that polygamy was the norm in ancient times. Indeed, in ancient China, a nobleman could legally have many concubines in addition to his wife, but no matter how many women he kept, only one could claim the status of being his wife.
The transition from historical practices to the present-day understanding of marriage within the Han Chinese community reflects a significant evolution in social norms and legal frameworks. This evolution underscores the cultural emphasis on monogamy, a practice that, despite the historical presence of concubinage, has been a consistent underpinning of Chinese matrimonial philosophy. The ancient allowance for concubines, while indicative of past societal structures, contrasts sharply with contemporary values that prioritize marital fidelity and legal monogamy.
The shift towards a strictly monogamous society was not abrupt but rather a gradual process influenced by changing political, social, and economic factors. The establishment of the People's Republic of China in 1949 marked a pivotal moment in this transition, as the new government sought to reform many aspects of Chinese society, including the institution of marriage. Legislation enacted during this period aimed to eradicate practices deemed feudal and backward, such as concubinage, in favor of promoting equality between men and women and emphasizing the importance of monogamous unions.
This historical context provides a backdrop against which the current perceptions and practices of Traditional Chinese marriage among the Han can be better understood. The insistence on monogamy is now deeply ingrained in the legal system and societal expectations, reflecting broader shifts toward modernization and social reform. However, the remnants of historical practices, such as the emphasis on progeny and family lineage, continue to influence contemporary marital arrangements and expectations, creating a unique blend of old and new traditions that characterizes modern Chinese marriage.
Purpose of Polygamy and Concubinage
The reasoning behind the practice was to increase the number of progeny - to an upper-class family, having concubines meant the opportunity for a larger family and increased promise of carrying on the family line. Common people, on the other hand, were lucky to have just one wife, due to expensive betrothal presents and dowry requirements.
The practices of polygamy and concubinage in ancient times, particularly within the context of Chinese society, were rooted in the fundamental desire to ensure the continuation and expansion of family lineage. This emphasis on progeny, especially male heirs, was paramount for upper-class families, for whom a larger number of offspring signified not just the perpetuation of the family name, but also the strengthening of familial power and influence. Concubines, in this setup, played a crucial role by providing additional opportunities for the birth of children, thereby increasing the likelihood of producing male heirs who could inherit and further the family's legacy.
For commoners, the economic burdens of marriage—such as the cost of betrothal gifts and dowries—meant that maintaining multiple wives or concubines was financially untenable. Consequently, the practice of polygamy and taking concubines was predominantly a privilege of the wealthy and powerful, highlighting the social inequalities of the time. The limitation of having a single wife for the majority underscored the stratification within society, where the accumulation of wealth and status could be directly linked to one's ability to expand their family through multiple partners.
This historical perspective illuminates the socio-economic and cultural factors that underpinned the acceptance and institutionalization of polygamy and concubinage. It reflects a period when familial lineage and the consolidation of power were central to social structure, and when marriage practices were instrumental in achieving these ends. Despite the vast changes in societal norms and values, understanding the purposes behind these ancient practices provides insight into the complexities of family, inheritance, and social status in historical contexts.
Status of Wives and Concubines
Traditionally, a woman was taken as a wife after a grand formal wedding ceremony, something a concubine would never have, and the wife then had the right and expectation of participating in the husband's social life and managing household affairs. A concubine's role in the family was merely to entertain the noblemen and to give birth to children. Concubines were never considered equals with the wife but always held a lower status in the family and in society.
Family Pressure and Societal Expectations
For marriages in China today, contrary to the Western view of marriage as the union of two individuals based on individual choice, the purpose remains much as it was in older times: the means through which the family line is carried on.
Because of this, considerable pressure is placed on single people of marriable age by her/his family and relatives, not only to marry but to have a child as well. This pressure is felt even more acutely because of the law that each family can only have one child, causing parents and extended family to feel entitled to much more of an opinion than their Western counterparts in matters of marriage and offspring.
The expectation among Han Chinese is that a person will get married around the age of 24 or 25, though careers are making that later and later, especially in big cities. Legally, a woman must be 20 years old to marry and a man 22, while girls under 20 and boys under 22 are not allowed to enter into marriage.
On top of this legal restriction, students in universities and institutes of higher education who are above the legal marrying age are often further restrained by both parents and school authorities, due to the widely held Chinese belief that a student should be singularly focused on their studies. As such, it is not uncommon for Chinese couples to date for many years before being married.
The Modern Chinese Wedding Ceremony
Wedding ceremonies in China today tend to combine Western aspects with traditional Chinese styles. The ceremony is usually an extravagant affair that takes an entire day and includes several wardrobe changes by the bride, with all relatives and many friends and acquaintances invited to attend. A multiple-course meal of exotic and expensive dishes is generally part of the ceremony, a way of showing the family's wealth and excitement for the occasion. For attendees, there is an expectation that one should give the couple a so-called "Red Envelope," filled with a lucky amount of money as a blessing to the couple.
Conclusion: Marriage Traditions and Modern Adaptations
In conclusion, while marriage in China has evolved significantly over the years, it still holds onto a rich tapestry of traditions and customs that make it unique. Despite the move towards a more monogamous society and the adoption of certain Western practices, Chinese marriage remains deeply rooted in cultural rituals that have been passed down through generations. These traditions not only honor the past but also serve as a bridge to the future, blending ancient customs with modern realities.
Today, Chinese couples often find themselves balancing between honoring these age-old traditions and adapting to contemporary societal norms. This balance is not always easy, as it involves navigating complex expectations from family, society, and the legal system. However, it also offers an opportunity for creativity and personalization in how ceremonies are conducted and how relationships are built and maintained.
The evolution of marriage in China is a testament to the society's ability to adapt and change while still valuing the importance of history and tradition. As Chinese society continues to evolve, so too will its marriage customs, likely incorporating new elements while retaining the core values that have been cherished for centuries. This ongoing adaptation ensures that marriage in China will remain a dynamic institution, reflective of both the country's rich heritage and its modern aspirations.