Chinese weddings
Chinese weddings are deeply rooted in ancient traditions and cultural practices that have been passed down through generations. Historically, these ceremonies were not just a union of two individuals but also a union of two families, with a strong emphasis on continuing family lineage and creating alliances. The Confucian virtues of filial piety and respect for ancestors played a significant role in shaping the customs surrounding Chinese weddings.
In ancient China, the concept of marriage was closely tied to the philosophies of yin and yang, which represent balance and harmony in the universe. Marriages were seen as a means to achieve this balance within the social fabric. Over the centuries, these rituals evolved, influenced by changes in dynastic rules, societal structures, and local customs. Despite these changes, the core values and the symbolic nature of the ceremonies have largely remained intact.
Pre-Wedding Preparations in Chinese Weddings
Matchmaking and the Role of Traditional Beliefs in Selecting a Spouse
In traditional Chinese culture, the process of finding a spouse was often facilitated by matchmakers. These individuals were typically respected elders or professional matchmakers who would take into account not only the personal attributes of the prospective bride and groom but also their family backgrounds, social status, and horoscopes. This practice, which is rooted in the belief that harmonious marriages contribute to social stability, underscores the communal aspect of marriage in Chinese society.
The role of traditional beliefs in selecting a spouse extends beyond mere matchmaking. The concept of "Bazi," which analyzes a person's destiny based on their birth date and time, plays a crucial role. Compatibility between the Bazi of the bride and groom is believed to predict the success and harmony of the marriage. Families often consult fortune tellers or astrologers to analyze this compatibility, ensuring the auspiciousness of the union.
The Importance of Astrological Compatibility
Astrological compatibility in Chinese weddings is not just a matter of tradition but a deeply ingrained cultural practice. The Chinese zodiac, elements, and yin-yang balance are all taken into consideration. A harmonious match is believed to bring prosperity, health, and luck to the couple and their families. In contrast, a poor astrological match might be seen as a harbinger of misfortune.
This emphasis on astrological compatibility extends to the selection of auspicious wedding dates. The Chinese lunar calendar and almanac, or "Tong Shu," are often consulted to find the most favorable day for the wedding. This date is chosen based on its alignment with the couple's birthdates and zodiac signs, as well as its position within the lunar cycle.
Engagement Customs: Betrothal Gifts, Dowries, and the Significance of Dates
Engagement customs in Chinese weddings are elaborate and filled with symbolism. Once a match is deemed suitable, the groom’s family presents betrothal gifts to the bride’s family. These gifts, known as "Guo Da Li," can include a variety of items such as tea, lotus seeds, red dates, and jewelry, symbolizing good luck, fertility, and prosperity.
The bride’s family, in turn, prepares a dowry to be sent to the groom’s family. The dowry often includes linens, clothing, and household items, signifying the wealth and status of the bride's family and their support for the new home.
The significance of dates is not limited to the wedding day. Auspicious dates are also selected for the exchange of betrothal gifts and the delivery of the dowry. These dates are chosen to ensure good luck and harmony for the couple's future life together.
In conclusion, pre-wedding preparations in Chinese weddings are deeply entwined with cultural practices and beliefs. From matchmaking to the exchange of gifts and selection of dates, each step is imbued with meaning and reflects the enduring influence of traditional Chinese values on the institution of marriage.
Wedding Attire in Chinese Weddings
Traditional Dress: The Bride's Qipao or Cheongsam and the Groom's Attire
In a traditional Chinese wedding, the bride often wears a Qipao or Cheongsam, a form-fitting traditional Chinese dress. Made of rich fabrics like silk, it is typically red, adorned with intricate embroidery of symbolic motifs such as phoenixes and peonies, representing beauty, prosperity, and good fortune. The Qipao is not just a garment but a cultural symbol, encapsulating grace, femininity, and the cultural heritage of China.
The groom's attire in traditional weddings is equally significant. He typically wears a dark-colored silk robe over a long gown, often accompanied by a traditional hat. The attire may be embellished with embroidery that matches the motifs on the bride's dress, symbolizing the couple's unity.
The symbolism of Colors and Designs in Wedding Attire
Color symbolism plays a vital role in Chinese wedding attire. Red, the most dominant color, symbolizes love, joy, and prosperity, and is believed to ward off evil spirits. Gold and silver accents are often used in embroidery to signify wealth and fortune. The designs on wedding attire are not randomly chosen; dragons symbolize strength and masculinity for the groom, while phoenixes represent beauty and femininity for the bride.
Chinese Wedding Ceremony
Description of a Traditional Chinese Wedding Ceremony
A traditional Chinese wedding ceremony is a blend of rituals and customs passed down through generations. The ceremony often begins with the groom leading a procession to the bride's home, accompanied by music and a traditional bridal sedan. Upon arrival, the groom may have to perform tasks or answer questions to "retrieve" the bride, a playful custom symbolizing the overcoming of challenges.
After the bride joins the groom, they travel to the wedding venue, where they pay respects to Heaven and Earth, their family ancestors, and their parents. This is followed by the couple bowing to each other, and completing the formal wedding rituals.
The Tea Ceremony: Significance and Procedure
The Tea Ceremony is one of the most significant parts of a Chinese wedding. During this ceremony, the couple serves tea to their parents and elder relatives as a sign of respect and gratitude. In return, the elders bestow their blessings and often give the couple red envelopes containing money or jewelry. This ceremony solidifies the union of the two families.
Exchange of Vows and Rings
The exchange of vows and rings is a more modern addition to Chinese weddings, influenced by Western practices. This often takes place during a more formal wedding ceremony, where the bride and groom express their commitment to each other.
Wedding Customs and Rituals
Hair Combing Ritual: Symbolism and Process
The hair combing ritual is a significant pre-wedding ritual that usually takes place in the respective homes of the bride and groom. During this ritual, a woman of good fortune (often the mother or a relative) combs the bride or groom's hair while reciting blessings. The ritual symbolizes the transition from childhood to adulthood and is believed to bring good luck to the couple.
The Bridal Procession and the Groom’s Reception of the Bride
The bridal procession to the groom’s home is a vital part of the wedding, involving a festively decorated bridal sedan. The bride is traditionally carried to prevent her from touching the ground, which is believed to ward off evil spirits.
Upon arrival, the groom greets the bride, and they may perform a series of rituals, including crossing a fire or stepping over a basin of coals, symbolizing the overcoming of obstacles in their life together.
Ancestral Rituals and Honoring Family
Ancestral rituals are integral to Chinese weddings, emphasizing the importance of family lineage. The couple pays respects to their ancestors, acknowledging their roots and seeking blessings. This may involve offering incense and making offerings at the family altar. These rituals reinforce the cultural belief in the continuity of the family and the ancestral blessings for the couple's future.
Post-Wedding Traditions in Chinese Weddings
The Day After the Wedding: Visiting the Bride's Family
One of the key post-wedding traditions in Chinese culture is the visit to the bride's family the day after the wedding. This visit is more than a courtesy call; it symbolizes the bride's enduring connection to her family even after marriage. It reassures her parents that she is well and being treated well in her new home. During this visit, the newlyweds are typically welcomed with a meal, and it's an opportunity for the bride's family to show acceptance and affection towards the groom.
The Significance of the Numbers Three, Six, and Nine in Post-Wedding Visits
In Chinese culture, numbers play a significant role, and this extends to post-wedding traditions. The numbers three, six, and nine, in particular, are considered auspicious. These numbers are associated with positivity, longevity, and prosperity. It is customary for post-wedding visits and rituals to be conducted on days that correspond to these numbers. For instance, the couple might visit friends and distant relatives on the third, sixth, and ninth days after their wedding, each visit symbolizing a step in their new journey and the strengthening of social bonds.
Role of the Bride in Her New Family
After the wedding, the bride's role in her new family takes on a new dimension. Traditionally, she is expected to integrate into the groom's family and often takes on responsibilities in the household. This may include participating in household decisions, assisting with family rituals, and often, caring for the groom's parents.
In modern times, while some of these traditional expectations persist, there's also a growing emphasis on balance and mutual support in the marital relationship. The bride's role is increasingly seen as a partnership with the groom, involving shared responsibilities and decision-making. Nonetheless, the traditional emphasis on family values, respect for elders, and the importance of family harmony continue to influence the role of the bride in her new family.
Overall, post-wedding traditions in Chinese weddings are not just formalities but are imbued with deep cultural significance. They reinforce family bonds, respect for tradition, and the integration of the bride into her new family, reflecting the enduring values of Chinese society.
My Experience at a Chinese Wedding
Last weekend I experienced a Chinese Wedding in Chengdu, being from the UK, I did not know what to expect. As a safe bet, I showed up in a suit anticipating that everyone would be in suits. However, to my amazement, all were dressed casually. Jeans and a shirt. Luckily the bride and groom were wearing that of more of a Western tradition. The appropriate suit for the groom and the classic white wedding dress for the bride. The event proceeded with taking vows and seemed as if it was a show put on for our entertainment; no complaints about that.
The first of the six etiquettes was the proposal. This is where the parents of an unmarried boy would find a potential bride for their son. They would then seek out a matchmaker to help resolve the interests between the two families when discussing marriage between the two families.
The next was the birth dates. This is when the matchmaker would take the birthdays of both the potential bride and groom, and with some crazy formula of fortune telling, work out if they were a good match. By good match, I mean, would they have good fortune? If the result was bad, then there would be no marriage. If the result was good, you have one lucky son.
If you were fortunate enough to get past stage two, then there would be betrothal gifts to the bride. This is when the parents of the groom would send the bride some gifts, along with the betrothal letter to the bride’s family. This then leads nicely to the next etiquette of wedding gifts sent from the groom’s family to the bride’s family. These usually included an array of food, cakes, and religious items. I suppose the richer the groom’s parents the better the gifts.
Then the wedding date would be arranged from the Tung Shin (Chinese Lunar Calender). Again the idea of selecting a good date would secure a good future for the couple. When the date was secured it finally came to the wedding ceremony. This is where all that hard work pays off and the couple finally wed. However, this is probably the hardest part of a wedding.
At the wedding, I went to it consisted of a huge meal displayed on tables around you. Nothing like wedding food. However, the food would have to wait, for the ceremony begins before the meal. It consisted of the sharing of vows. The wedding ring is placed on the bride's finger. The usual sort of thing you see at a wedding. However, there was an old Chinese tradition upheld. This was where tea, held in both hands, was offered by the bride to her parents kneeling. This was to pay respect for raising her. Then the bride would then offer tea to the father of the groom and kneel again. While the groom knelt in front of his mother offering tea. In return for this, the couple would receive red envelopes from the people invited containing money or jewelry, or both.
So next time when in China try and get yourself invited to a Chinese wedding. They are a nice way to spend the day. Meet new people, eat some delicious food, and drink some wine. What more can you ask? Thank you WindhorseTour for a most enjoyable day.
Comments
Thank you Mo that was very informative... I have learned a lot about the Chinese Wedding Traditions and this might explain the HSBC advert where an elderly Chinese man is handing out red envelopes (although to his grandchildren I believe).
Kind Regards,
Vlad